oh !

I'm here laying in bed @ 7:30 p.m on a sunday evening . . . sick =/ . ughh . i have to get better by tommorow . i have school , my number 4 & twirling .
ahhhhhh twirling . i`m a captain ! I'm excited . i worked really hard all my years of being a twirler . not to become a captain , but just because i absolutley love flag twirling .( & i loveeeee being a shortflag ) the other captains are crystal , shacoya , catherine , joyella , carla & kenya . they're something like my bestfriends lol ( missing one :/ ) . but yeah i`ll keep posted on this season .

okay & Number 4 , is a person . ♥ that's my baby ! lol . its a rollercoaster ride -_- but for the most part , he keeps me smiling . . . this has been goin on since foreverrr . but its never been like this . . . well see where this goes .

. my first love *

Me (front & center) and my group Cameo* , performing at the 2008 annual T.H.R.E.A.D. talent show. (we won btw :] )

I ♥ PERFORMING !

untitled

i fight only because its the only way I'm able to control this situation . so I'm fighting . physically , verbally & I'm throwing daggers at everyone who made this situation what it was . call me crazy , but that's just the way my mind works . i can't control the way i feel .

& the craziest part to me is that i honestly don't even wanna be with you . My heart won't allow me to love someone that wasn't real . that feeling just is not there for me anymore . but my mind has gotten so used to being all about you that i don't mind making more enemies than friends & i don't give a damn what people say about me . its sounds crazy , but that's how it is . & that's just who i am because that's who I've become .
thanks to you .

_ forevertofight .*

. quit your worrying baby *

& you just gon' keep hating me
. 115320712 *
. . . & we just gon be e n e m i e s . *

I'm soo worried about things from my past . & its not even things i know for facts . it a bunch of assumptions that are filling in my mind . there are so many questions i need to ask but am afraid to . . . i hate how everything always comes back to you . . .

¡ yo bailè !

back again . . . well , my day is going better than it usually does but its not as good as i want it to be .I'm currently in the emergency room as i write this , don't ask . shouts to Alexis vinson , Miles G. , Delenzo D. & Katrina . . . my Espanol II buddies . alexis and her trumpet . . . just kill me LOL . that girl is too much . Delenzo , thinks I'm crazy . your OD funny for no reason lol (ESPECIALLY when you're getting hit in the head with volleyballs :) ) . . . Katrina reminds me of the girl i 'don't like' named tia -_- katrina knows i like her anyway . & miles , miles oh miles . he's the greatest he's maddd sarcastic & doesn't even know it . & I'm about to hook him up with my friend paige aka my sunshine :) . . . i told you guys i would shout you out . lata !

. its like you were my favorite drug . *

so I'm laying here @ 6 a.m. with my ipod & my sidekick . . .I'm getting angry over something ( or should i say someone) @ 5:30 a.m. . . how ridiculous ?!
and now , unfortunately , my whole day is gonna revolve around this thing ( or should i say PERSON ) . that's not how i want it to be , but i just KNOW that it will . because when things bother me , & i can't do anything about it , it`s constantly on my mind . & i Hate that about myself . & with this particular thing , I'm just here , HOPING , PRAYING & WISHING that things will get better . but they're still the same . Ugh ! i remember this one fight , when this (very special , very ex - important ! ) person said " its sad how much i affect your life . " & I'm there just like d a m n ; it IS sad , because you DO (a*shole) . recently , I've been trying to change that . because being in love , is just like being addicted to drugs . . . your body becomes so attached to this one thing , & you need it or want it all the time . & you become this person who is not who you used to be . you know its killing you , but you just can't stop. & when you do finally find the strength to stop , it feels like your whole world came crashing down on you in a matter or moments . . . anyhow , its about 6:20 a.m. now and i have to get ready for my day . i`ll check back in later to tell how it went .

It is what it is .

not much to say , even though this is the 1st entry. it is what it is . its titled this for a very specific reason. ive learned that through all the drama and bullsh*t you go through in life , at the end of the day , when situations are done , thats it. theres no going back, you cannot change what you did , who you tried to hurt . . . ( lol trust me , this is the deal in most of my cases) and it is what it is. lord only knows how many times i have been "crazy" over something that happened that i couldnt control. so ive learned to say " it is what it is " & just move on. why did i start this blog ? people have many different opinions on me , and i dont blame them . we all , as humans , come off different to different people. i didnt start this to change my "image" or make people have a different perspective on me. those who know me best know i couldnt care less of what people think of me. i know i am and who i want to be. this blog actually is not that serious. friends always tell me that i should have my own reality show ( believe them) , so here it is. ill write about me , everyday things , true friends , "friends, " & peole who i dont like or get along with ( most of the people who consume my life now ) . people who know me , know that i am a "get iin your face" type of girl. some call me ghetto , some call me crazy ( well talk more about me later ) . Anyhow , just know that i will be putting people on "blast" or however you want to say it. whether i do it directly or in-directly , im doing it. thats it for now , im out.