" i know that i love you , but let me just say , i don't wanna love you in no kinda way . . . "

see eventually i will get through this , but right now it seems my heart's in the way .

& for the first time in a long time ;
I'm missing the hell outta you ,
Promisebreaker ♥ . . .

things between me & Number 4 , are over . -_- . something I'm not gonna talk about right now . . . but in reaction to that , I'm missing Mr.promisebreaker a whole much . its crazy but my heart just goes right back to wanting PB when something ends . & i think its becuase that's my safe zone . NOT my HAPPY zone , but just my safe zone . that's what I'm used to . I'm used to that feeling & I'm used to dealing with all the nonsense that it brings . its crazy how my mind works . but i literally felt that e x a c t moment when i went back to "wanting PB . " something changed , & the happiness that I've discovered over the past weeks disappeared .

I'm gonna be honest , i Hope this doesn't last .

don't get me wrong , after all the bullsh*t , i still can say that the (good) person PB is amazing . & I'm glad that i knew him . . .
now the other side , is a different story .

but i can't afford to go through what i did again , feel how i felt or be that "crazy girl ."

we will see .

ps .
i write it cause its real . don't like it ? don't read it . . .